I swear sometimes it feels like coming home is a complete downer. I have been an over-achiever all my life and it is typical for me to hold down 2 or 3 jobs, run a small business or two, keep up with eBay making money online and maintain a semi-professional writing career. However for the first time in my life, I feel like doing absolutely nothing. I've wondered if I am slowing down. I am getting older ... however every time I leave Madison for any period of time, I am so invigorated and active. I evaluated everything in my life, my partner, my job, my friends, my past-times ... I really think that living on Allied Drive is a downer and de-motivates people from wanting to do anything. My partner once pointed out that altitude-wise, Allied Drive is the lowest point in Madison. If you walk outside my apartment and face Allied Drive, you can turn in any direction and from all 360 degrees, you will look up towards the surrounding areas. I live in a pit! Something in this environment literally sucks the life out of us. It often makes me wonder if it is even possible to "come up" from "down here" ...
Friday, August 3, 2007
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3 comments:
You know, that is me. Sometimes I come home late because I don't want to go home and just go to the library. I don’t want to even eat when I come home because I am in such a shithole.
And allso, There is a building on Carling that has a fence they are building around it in order to protect it? It looks like a prison. I talked to one of the residents there and he said that he feels like he is back in prison. Why would anyone do that?
I sound very negative in this post and the reality is that I fight negativity that is abundant in the environment that I live in. I love my community and there are some great people here, however damn, you are right, it can get so depressing out here! I found a secret that I am exploring to help fight all the depression around me ... color. I am slowly investing in paint and fabric and decorating my apartment so that I can come home to a place that reflects who I am. I don't have a lot of money, but with a little creativity, a nice environment can be produced. I sometimes go to Home Depot across the street and chill out for a while and read their home improvement magazines and get ideas there for little things I can do to make my place nicer ... I'm at Dig and Save almost every payday - it's amazing how far $20 goes there. Good luck though - I feel you 100% and I wish that there were more things we can do to avoid becoming products of the environment.
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