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Friday, October 12, 2007

Hungry on Allied Drive

There is a lyric to a track that I have heard about 2,000 times in the last 5 days (because it is on the Need for Speed soundtrack). This track found a way to adhere to my brain and I find myself humming it at work, mainly because it is so characteristic of Allied Drive. Here is an excerpt:

So if ya hit, the ambulance, it don't come around here
Now ya stuck, not even cabs, they don't run around here
If ya hungry, pizza man, he don't come around here
The last line there is key because that is one thing I find so aggravating about this community. It is not possible to get a pizza delivered on Allied Drive because Madison's pizza joints are "uncomfortable" with our community. That does not stop me from trying. I call the pizza places every couple months (usually when I am on my period) and and the conversation goes something like this:
Lina: Hi, I was wondering if you deliver and how far you go?

Stan the Pizza Man (in uppity cheerful voice): We sure do! Where do you live?

Lina: I'm over by Verona Road, right by Walgreens.

Stan the Pizza Man (still in an uppity cheerful voice): No problem! What can I get for you?

Lina: Great! (Note: This is where I order my food.)

Stan the Pizza Man (still in an uppity cheerful voice): Excellent, can I get your delivery address?

Lina: Sure! I am at 2347 Allied Drive. (Note: I make an conscious effort to sound uppity and proper here, think Bree from Desperate Housewives.)

Stan the Pizza Man (notable coldness in voice): Oh. Please hold.

After a couple minutes, Stan the Pizza Man returns.

Stan the Pizza Man (notable coldness still in voice): I am sorry, we don't come out to Allied Drive.

Lina: Really? Why is that? (Note: I question the reasons as if it is the first time I am having this conversation.)

Stan the Pizza Man (notable coldness still in voice): Well, our delivery people do not feel comfortable going down there.

Lina: Really? They are not comfortable? That's odd, Do you know why they do not feel comfortable? (Note: My tone is still as if it is the first time I have heard that we can not get food here.)

Stan the Pizza Man (still cold): Well I guess there have been some prank calls from out there and some of our drivers have gotten robbed, so they don't like going down there.

Lina: Really? You never get prank calls from anywhere else in Madison?

Stan the Pizza Man (cold): I don't know.

Lina: Do you know if this is this a policy for all of your locations? (Note: Now I am preparing to shift into bitch-mode.)

Stan the Pizza Man (still cold): Well I don't know, that is just what they said.

Lina: So what I am hearing is that deliveries can only be made if the driver feels comfortable at the time, so if I call on a different day when a different driver is working, or maybe even the same driver, they may feel comfortable driving down this street at another time and I may be able to get a delivery on a different day, right? I mean, maybe the driver is just having a bad hair day today and doesn't feel like going outside. (Note: Bitch-mode, 1st gear)

Stan the Pizza Man (still cold): Maybe, I really don't know.

Lina: It's too bad equal opportunity and affirmative action don't apply to the hunger of members of federally protected groups. (Note: I only say things like that on my bad hair days, and maybe when I have some cramps too)
Blah blah blah, depending on my mood, I may push it a little more. I have called all the pizza places within a two mile radius, including Glass Nickel, Pizza Extreme, Rocky Rococo's and Pizza Pit. It's all the same conversation. Some will offer to meet me at the end of the block, like over on Red Arrow or Crescent. That's generous, but the whole reason I asked for delivery was so that I did not have to go outside. If I am going down the block, I might as well drive out and pick the darn pizza up and save the $2 for delivery. Domino's, though they have offered similar conversations as above, will still deliver here if the sun is up (I'm not trying to be funny, that is really what they told me). However over the last few weeks, I called after sunset and did get a delivery. But damn, Domino's gets old after a while! I guess I should not complain, as Suni Clay says on his track, if ya hungry, pizza man, he don't come around here ... Any ideas on how we can get food out here? I am all ears!!

Also, I added the sound track to the side bar - take a few hundred listens so that I am not the only Madisonian humming this song over the next several weeks! I included the lyrics too, and I have to say, the rest of the track totally reflects our 'hood ... as if it was written right here. But I guess to presume that would be small-minded. Maybe, possibly, every city has an Allied Drive. Regardless, I decided to proclaim it as the Allied Drive anthem - hey, if we can proclaim mayors on Allied Drive, we can certainly proclaim anthems!

UPDATE: Chinese food delivers to Allied!!


Anonymous said...

Nice post - tho I didn't know Allied Drive had a mayor - what is that about?

Stu Levitan said...

Another very interesting post from Lina. I hope the CDA's redevelopment efforts are successful enough, so that when we're done, occurrences like this will seem like a bad dream. I am encouraged by the turn-around in the old Broadway-Simpson neighborhood, where the CDA's Monona Shores and Waunona Woods developments have contributed to such a decline in crime that the neighborhood (now called Lake Point) doesn't need a neighborhood officer any more, and gets all the pizza it wants.
Those following the CDA's activities may be interested that on Thursday we approved contracts for the site design and housing market study, which we will use in preparing our tax credit application. We are also committed to several neighborhood meetings to discuss the design while it's still in its planning stage. Also, it appears the city has found money for road improvements without raiding the Affordable Housing Trust Fund, which is very good news.
Please feel free to email me at with any questions or comments about CDA activities in Allied (or anywhere else).

Freeze Dried Food said...

That's tough luck indeed. Your city should focus its resources to rid/lessen crime especially on your street. A little police visibility would help

Anonymous said...

I heard a little girl talk about Ghetto loud; I've heard the racism thing up to kazoo. I live NEAR Allied Drive. If I behaved as some of the people do; I wouldn't have a job either. Decide if you want to be righteous, or decide if you want to conform and live in a NORMAL society.

I see ICK; and I am out of here ASAP !

little white girl livin in a black man's world.

(heard switch from a middle-aged black alcoholic; who is so proud to be a "black man livin in a white man's world)

Nena said...

A Very well written article By You Lina, Well its seems you guys are having very tough time out there

Karan said...

Really it's very nice post. I know about some crime scene cleanup but not Allied Drive

Lowongan Kerja said...

Lina, I hope the image about Allied Drive will be changed immediately... I see that it look a nice town...

Arcade Download said...

Allied Drive?!? I've heard the city because I am from Asia. Judging from conversations seem very severe. I hope not.